It's for Madonna to read.

Madonna, my skin knows it, how much I have loved you.

Your face hijacked most of my cupboard. My iPod was once a Madonna-Pod and I even dragged you into my fucking research paper. My lover knows the delirious passion I had for you and today, with these reeling videos and flashes of your nipple on stage, something has put me off and maybe, only another Madonna fan can rationalize that for me. You once masturbated to a velvet pillow on stage, stripped under burning crosses and fucked women in a top hat and a long cane. I never minded any of that because you were doing what you knew you couldn’t but you did it anyways. You didn’t care about pulling a ‘Madonna’. You balls are brassier than any hunk around. You could be a female testosterone shot. You had a fierce opinion on everything under the sun (and your skirt) but then what is it now that bothers me?

It pisses me off how you hypocritically criticized M.I.A’s show of middle finger during SuperBowl and how you duped her into hopping like an emasculated cheerleader. She deserves better and I thought, you would respect that. I am so happy that you defy age, professional and gender/sex boundaries with such fire but flipping your nipple on stage didn’t look all that right. MDNA sounded bland, you sounded too cocksure of the brand you have created. You were not like this and you believed in experimenting. I miss that Madonna and that’s why no matter how scandalously you sizzled, your music was there to back you up. I mean, this is Madonna’s soul- music, opinions and stunts that deliver and despise this world at the same time. You know this world takes a bitchy delight in raping you on paper but this act just called for the attack you are witnessing. Your fans were hurt by seeing you fall because maybe we miss the Madonna who wore her heart on sleeve and even those acts that people dub as ‘scandal’ came out with such intelligence. You were not mocking religion, men, America or Gaga by that nip-slip and you sort of, mocked yourself. You know people just want some drama because you are on. CNN's Piers Morgan weighed in on Twitter: "Most embarrassing, cringe-worthy, desperate moment in the history of music?" and yes, ‘desperate’ is the word that itches me because you still rule in my head. You suddenly seem so fogged by your own image, your own statement, your own mission and that brings us to a blind spot.

I am going to close this now because I hope you screw these hoes back. I want a powerful show. I want a jaw-breaking-by-my-heels performance. I want you all raw real. Take off that million dollar bandage.

Because I L.U.V Madonna.

Going away in me

Go away in me

Like dew drops on strawberries, and I bear your dreams on my skin.
Color my hands with plum flowers,lilies and pink leaves. My breath lost in your cuddle.
These hills murmur a story, slowly, through the grainy sky. Rainy scent on our wrists and monkeys chattering on the house rail. Somebody wants to forget their future; somebody wants to melt their heart. Washing machines churn empty wombs and Billie Holiday slits her throat.

You are a part of this story. Come away closer to me.

My heart has just started talking.